31 and Pregnant?

I was recently asked about my schedule for 2012 and why I wanted to Rev 3 Cedar Point in September (as compared to Louisville, Wisconsin or Florida).  I pretty much ignored the question (sorry Jen) because I want to schedule Rev 3 Cedar Point rather than a WTC event because Rev 3 has a generous refund policy (or at least I thought it did but now I can't seem to find any information on the refund policy on Rev 3's website).  If I sign up for a WTC I'm out the $600 if for some reason I can't race. 

I understand there are lots of "for some reasons" out there, but the particular one weighing on my mind is getting pregnant.  As much as I don't like to admit it, I'm old and getting older.  No matter how young I look on the outside, my body is 30 (and will be 31 in December).  Women in their thirties experience a decline in fertility rates and in any given month the fertility rate is only 15%.  By age 35 the fertility rate drops to 10%.  I know the longer we wait, the tougher its going to be to get pregnant. 

While I want children, I'm also scared.  Over the past two years, I've worked really hard to build my aerobic fitness and am finally seeing the pay off.  I train a lot.  Right now I'm at about 20 hours of swimming, biking and running per week and another 5 hours of yoga.  Training (and racing) is a huge part of who I am and I am really afraid to loose that.  I'm not only scared of the crap recommendations out there for pregnant women (I'm sorry but 140 bpm is not a magic number) but I'm also scared that no matter what I want to do (or even plan to do) my body may not let me.  Erica just went through a truly horrendous pregnancy resulting in months of bed rest and an extended stay in the hospital at the end of her term (Erica-- I love you but you did not have a "good" pregnancy).  I can handle the thought of not racing while maintaining my aerobic base for forty weeks; I cannot handle the thought of being on bed rest for three months.  I also have body composition issues and the thought of gaining weight is also a little scary. 

I may be selfish and self centered, but this is where I'm at right now and its easier to talk about it rather than ignore it (especially when it feels like everyone I know is either pregnant or just had a child).  I really wish I had all the time in the world, but I don't.  Tick. Tick. Tick. Its tough to reconcile two things that are so very important to me.  I think the plan on the triathlon front is going to be to do Ironman Florida next month and Ironman Texas in May and then to see what happens in the back half of 2012.  On the baby front, the plan is to find an OB-GYN who deals with athletes and go in for an exam and testing just to make sure everything is ok.  Here's hoping 2012 will be a big year on both fronts.